Madden Final Report: 2005

Dec. 15, 2005

Well the end of regular season has approached us and the post season has started. Madden has taken some needed time off to finish his finials and spend a week in court testifying. Man I don’t miss those days.

Now where do I start, first I would like to thank my friends for joining this league and hope you will be back. This league was started by me for friends, however some of my friends were very inactive this year. For those that know me very well: Terror Squad, New York Knights, gang green, Bartow Ford, Boston Beer Works, and Superdestroyers, know that I don’t hold back.

So this is Madden’s take on you as a owner and your team: I will end this season pissing some owners off: Remember if its in the game, its fair game.

Lets go in Madden’s order of how he thinks the season will end:

Gang Green (AKA Accident Prone) at number 10. You started off strong then like flies your team started dropping. However, you came in second in the add/drops and you still suck. Bad coaching bro. “If you were in good hands with (Allstate),” you just might have had those players insured. I know you are a very experienced fantasy owner but what happened? Never the less I could not think of a better friend to bring beer next year, then you. Gang Green will return. The first pick of next years draft goes to Gang Green, your on the clock. Ladies and Gentlemen, Gang Green has left the building. “Thank you. Thank you very much."(Elvis)

Bartow Ford (AKA Built Not So Tough) at number 9. Bartow Ford, last man invited to the draft, however made some good picks, but your team did not have “the heart beat of America”(Chevy) and you were no “American Revolution.”(Chevy) Plain in simple you also sucked this year, but you won’t be bringing beer to next years draft, at least I think you can win the Toilet Bowl.

Superdestroyers (AKA SLOT Player) at number 8. Superdestroyers my Buccaneer buddy. I am just glad you got to play. Having you and DMB at the draft made it entertaining. At least you were not the one sucking cocks at this years draft.

“Surprise, surprise, surprise!"(Gomer Pyle) That describes your season. From learning what a slot player is to how you write an article, with a picture. Your team is tough and you surprised all of us with the way you played this game, and how you did on add/drops. Lets just say at times you were "Ssssmoking” (Jim Carrey, The Mask). I know you will be back next year. I know you will do better next year, because now you know "And knowing is half the battle." (GI JOE).

Terror Squad (AKA Osama Bin Laden) at number 7. Tracy my old buddy. I thought it was going to be you and I in the Super Bowl, but then GOD punished you for all those N.Y. Jokes. Your season can be summed up by saying, "Oooof...!" (Sheriff Buford T. Justice) After New York Knights pointed out what your line up really looked like, you were never really “playing with power” (A slogan for Nintendo's ).

Daddy Mo Bucs (AKA Daddy No Bucks) at number 6. DMB what can I say, your season started off with a fucked up draft. I think every one in the room told you to suck a dick at some point. “Survey says!” (Richard Dawson, Family Feud)

Your team sucked. However, you did make it to the first round of the playoffs, something 4 other teams did not do. Now for the real question that you won’t seem to answer, ARE YOU COMING BACK? I need to know for the league. I have a replacement if you don’t but we would all like our cock sucker back. But no answer would mean that "The tribe has spoken." And your out (Jeff Probst, Survivor). DMB it is all in good fun, no hard feelings. For real Congrats on making the Post Season. However, I do think you need a new name next year, there is no Fear in DMB. Besides you have to know more about the Bucs then starting from 2002.

Detroit Latin Stars (AKA the Silent Collaborator) at number 5. Detroit L.S., you came into the draft silent and you end the season silent. However, I know that you were active, you did post a couple articles and you were involved in add/drops. Congrats on making the Post Season. "Hasta la vista, baby” (Terminator)

Sukmyditka (AKA Sukaterd) at number 4, Sukaterd, you came to the draft a ball of fire. Then you just died. It was like you did not even play this year. "Believe it...or not" (Ripley’s Believe it or not) the league is more fun when you actually take part in it.

It is "Elementary" Dear Sukmyditka, (Sherlock Holmes) that you respond to the articles written about you. You left a lot of us owners wondering if you were in Kansas, "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto." (Wizard of Oz). Nope this is not Kansas just a fantasy football league. "You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't HANDLE THE TRUTH!" ( Jack Nicholson's character Colonel Jessep). The truth is that you should participate in this league other wise we think you are boring and should not come back, which you are not boring. Congrats on making the playoff’s, but I bet you don’t even know that you are one game away from the Super Bowl. Hopefully we will see you next year. “This is Bob Barker, reminding you to help control the pet population by having your Sukmyditka’s spayed or neutered"

N.Y. Knights (Can’t keep a Good City Down) at number 3, New York Knights, my buddy. Congrats on making it this far. However all good thing come to an end and I think Boston Beer Works is the come back kid. I agree that your team “They're grrreat!" (Tony the Tiger) But your time has ended. You are the 3rd best team in this league. CYA at next years draft.

Cutthroat Pirates: (The Commish) at number 2, This is my team and even though I am the coach of the year with a winning record of 11-2, with my QB on IR and my number one WR suspended for the year, I still came out on top. "To be the Team, you gotta BEAT the Team!" (Ric Flair). Woooooooooooooooo (Ric Flair) No matter who wins the Crimson Division, I got my work cut out for me.

Boston Beer Works: (AKA Come Back Kid) number 1, Boston, I think your team could go all the way. It depends on if you "Stomp 'em! Crash 'em! Bash 'em!" (Mario Brothers). After you got your season back on track, I think you were like the Borg and told ever one "Resistance is futile" (Star Trek). At the end of this season Boston, you might be just like Jerry Maguire saying "Show me the money!" -(Tom Cruise )

Anyway thanks guys again for a great season. I have tried to make it entertaining for us all. "Nanoo, nanoo" (Robin Williams as Mork from Ork) ******

Madden Week 12 Awards: (3 weeks ago)
Team of the Week: Detroit Latin Stars with 121 points
Player of the Week: L. Tomlinson with 38 points
Game of the Week: Terror Squad 105 Bartow Ford 104
Def of the Week: Dolphins Def 22 points.
Most Improved Team: Boston Beer Works
The Shit Team: Daddy Mo Bucs with lowest points 68
The Lame Ass Article: DMB *****

Madden Week 13 Awards: (2 weeks ago)
Team of the Week: Bartow Ford with 138 points
Player of the Week: Lee Evans with 29 points
Game of the Week: Boston Beer Works 89 Sukmyditka 80
Def of the Week: (Tie) Giants/Colts Def 23 points.
Most Improved Team: Boston Beer Works
The Shit Team: Gang Green with lowest points 50
The Lame Ass Article: DMB *******

Here is the Annual Awards Presented by Madden:
Team of the Year: Sukmyditka (3 Team of the Week Awards)
Player of the Year: Ladainian Tomlinson (3 Player of the Week Awards)
Game of the Year: Detroit Latin Stars against New York Knights (TIE) Game 100 points each.
Def of the Year: Colts (4 Def Team of the Week Awards)
Most Improved Year: Boston Beer Works
The Shit Team of the Year: (Tied) Gang Green and DMB (3 Shit Team Weekly Awards, based off lowest points scored during a week)
The Lame Ass Article of the Year: DMB’S DMB CHURCH SIGN?
Owner/Coach of the Year: Cutthroat Pirates 11-2 Best Record in League
Worst Owner/Coach of the Year: Gang Green 2-11 Record in league League

Records:
Highest points in a game: SUKATERD with 141
Lowest points in a game: Gang Green with 43
1st Tie in the League with 100 points scored N.Y. Knights and Detroit Latin Stars
Team undefeated: Bartow Ford 3-0 (Season Record for this League) (Ends at 3-0)
Biggest Rival to date: Terror Squad VS N.Y. Knights
Team to end the Undefeated streak: Superdestroyers over Bartow Ford
Lowest number of Articles: Gang Green, , (1 )
Best Season record: Cutthroat Pirates 11-2
Worst Season record: Gang Green 2-11
Owner with the fucked up draft: Daddy Mo Bucs
Least active owner: Sukmyditka
Highest Points in a Season: Sukmyditka 1345.0
Lowest Points in a Season: Gang Green 1000.0
Most Add/Drops: Cutthroat Pirates
Least Add/Drops: Sukmyditka

Madden Report Wk 11 2005

Nov. 23, 2005

Hello Sports fans, this goes out to my 9 good buddies this week.

Madden decided since it was a time of giving that I would give you nine men a little treat.

Here she is, however Tracy I know it would be better if she had her bikini all the way down. So Happy Thanks Giving to all nine owners from Madden AKA Cutthroat Pirates Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

(Just for you SUKMYDITKA. Read the COMMISSIONER'S MESSAGE it tells about the playoffs and the remainder of the year.




Madden Week 11 Awards:
Team of the Week: N.Y Knights with 137 points
Player of the Week: Larry Johnson with 38 points
Game of the Week: N.Y. Knights and SUKMYDITKA
Def of the Week: Broncos Def 28 points.
Most Improved Team: Boston Beer Works
The Shit Team: gang green with lowest points 54
The Lame Ass Article: SUKATERD again and again and arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr again.

Records to break:
Highest points in a game: SUKATERD with 141
Lowest points in a game: Gang Green with 43
Tie with 100 points scored N.Y. Knights and Detroit Latin Stars
Team undefeated: Bartow Ford 3-0 (Season Record for this League) (Ends at 3-0)
Biggest Rival to date: Terror Squad VS N.Y. Knights/Gang Green
Team to end the Undefeated streak: Superdestroyers over Bartow Ford
Lowest number of Articles: (tied)Gang Green, SUKMYDITKA, (1 each) Your Last article did not count SUKMYDITKA
Best Season record: Cutthroat Pirates 10-1
Worst Season record: Gang Green 2-9 (due to injuries)

Madden Report WK 10 2005

Nov. 17, 2005-Terror Squad's Coach Gone? Has the shit hit the fan? Is the war on Terror over? Is Terror Squad in a cave some where hiding?

Hello Sports fans, Madden Here. It seems that it has been brought to my attention that the Terror Squad is now officially in hiding. We might not ever see Terror Squads Coach, Osama Bin Laden again. I was sent this official photo by a high New York official. This official owner will remain unnamed, but we will say that Madden’s sources believes it comes from inside the Knights headquarters. Madden was informed that the N.Y. Knights Owner had a personal hand in sending Terror Squad back into the hot, bat shit filled, smelly caves. Oh how the Terror reigned on this league for several weeks, but has since been defeated. I was promised by a close friend that Terror Squad will not make the Playmakers Fantasy Football Playoff’s this year.

Sorry Tracy it seems that you have been called out and like Daddy Mo Bucs and SUKATERD, you are now a silent partner in this league (Meaning no articles).

Speaking of Daddy Mo Bucs, Madden would like to take this time and say that this team is back, CONGRATS DMB for rebuilding you team. Now for SUKATERD, what the fuck are you writing, your articles suck dude. You fired off a dumb ass article at Madden. You tell Madden that you don’t want Madden back next year, WHO IS THE FUCKING DUMB ASS NOW, MR. I THINK THIS IS MY LEAGUE AND YOUR 15 MINUTES OF FANTASY FOOTBALL ARE UP. Thanks for playing (or did you even play) at least thanks for paying. Now once again, since Madden has just pissed you off DUDE, Boston Beer Works told you not to come back, and I have been asked by another owner (I will leave unnamed, until he says who he is, WHAT IS A MATTER WITH SUKATERD AND DMB ARE THEY PLAYING ARE THEY EVEN COMING BACK NEXT YEAR?

This is fantasy football, I know it is some of your guys first year, but this is what it is all about. Yes, we are all friends, but on here we are enemies. If you can’t even give this league an hour a week and make it your league then don’t come back. If you can’t take the heat of the articles then don’t come back. Over 40 million people play fantasy football and talk shit and have a good time with friends. I promise the rest of the owners in this league, the list of future potential owners is growing.

Besides the 2nd annual draft party for the real NFL draft well be held at Cutthroat’s house again next year and this league is invited. We skipped this past year but for those that came two years ago, you know we had a great time and this year will be better.

Well Madden will stick up for DMB, he has posted only a couple of articles, but he has made ADD/DROPS and has made a pretty good team. BREAKING NEWS, DO YOU KNOW THAT SUKATERD IS THE ONLY TEAM WHO HAS NEVER EVER DONE AN ADD/DROP!

Now with More Breaking News: It is a sad day in Gotham City, The Daily Bugle reported on the front page of its newspaper that Superunderoos, AKA Superdestroyers, has Alzheimer's Disease. During his press conference this week, he stated, “Tommy's cutbaits are weak and their coaching remains in question even though they have the best record. Cutbaits have some good players but mostly a bunch of lucky fruitcake sissys.”

It is CUTTHROAT you sorry ass underoo depends wearing prune drinking old fart. Well since your Alzheimers has kicked in Superunderoos, AKA “THE SENIOR CITIZEN OF RUST” You must have forgot that I kicked your ass not once, but twice with my “good players but mostly a bunch of lucky fruitcake sissys.” You call me lucky, to say that you won four games is luck, for me to be 9-1, yeah that is fucking right 9-1 is Pure Domination, isn’t that right SUKATERD. Okay Superunderoos, let me put it this way so you might understand it better. For Gang Green to be in last place, you could say that his coaching remains in question, but for Boston Beer Works to take his division after starting off shitty, is PURE COACHING.

It seems that Detroit Latin Stars, Boston Beer Works, Terror Squad, and N.Y. Knights are all 5-5. This race heats up for 3 playoff spots. I was told that Terror Squad will be the team out, we will see.

Cutthroat Pirates are the only team to secure a playoff spot right now with a 9-1 record, SUKATERD is right now in second place and DMB is in third. Bartow Ford and Superunderoos are 1 game out of 3rd place. There is only 3 weeks left until the playoffs. Remember week 12 is the last week for add/drops and trades.

Okay, you also need to get with Cutthroat Pirates if you are in the Titanium Division and N.Y. Knights if you are in the Crimson Division. Both Division will be hosting a PROBOWL team to play in the post season. There must be one player from each team on the Division team so 5 players then the remaining 4 can be your divisions best players. The division that loses in the Probowl will be buying next years pizza or food for the draft. Remember the team that loses in the TOILET BOWL, will be bringing the drinks to next years draft. So Titanium Division, start looking at each others team and your own and see who you think should be our QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, TE, K, and DEF. I was told that their was no way we could beat the Crimson PUKES.

Madden Week 10 Awards:
Team of the Week: SUKATERD with 141 points
Player of the Week: Shaun Alexander with 34 points
Game of the Week: Detroit Latin Stars and Daddy Mo Bucs
Def of the Week: Panthers Def 31 points, Second week in a row
Most Improved Team: Boston Beer Works
The Shit Team: Bartow Ford with lowest points 59
The Lame Ass Article: SUKATERD again

Records to break:
Highest points in a game: SUKATERD with 141
Lowest points in a game: Gang Green with 43
Tie with 100 points scored N.Y. Knights and Detroit Latin Stars
Team undefeated: Bartow Ford 3-0 (Season Record for this League) (Ends at 3-0)
Biggest Rival to date: Terror Squad VS N.Y. Knights/Gang Green
Team to end the Undefeated streak: Superdestroyers over Bartow Ford
Lowest number of Articles: (tied)Gang Green, SUKMYDITKA, (1 each) Your Last article did not count SUKMYDITKA
Best Season record: Cutthroat Pirates 9-1
Worst Season record: Gang Green 2-8 (due to injuries)

Madden Week 9 Report 2005

Nov. 12, 2005-This league is getting soft: Who will be the first to take action?

Hello sports fans, Madden has been reading all the activity on the board this week and waiting for the owners to respond to the cut downs that other owners have made. I am sad to say but I think this league has gone SOFT.

This year only a few owners have been active. They are Cutthroat Pirates, Terror Squad, N.Y. Knights, and Boston Beer Works. SUKMYDITKA started the first week out strong then he went into hiding SUKINGDICK.

We have had some participation from Detroit Latin Stars, Superdestroyers, Daddy Mo Bucs and Bartow Ford. Gang Green has even helped a little by posting an article when he was attacked by Terror Squad. Madden must recap the articles this week and make sure you know who called you out. It would seem that Terror Squad was called out by N.Y. Knights in a article named: “Cya Tracy” Here is the article again for you, “Poor Terror Squat. Suck another owners dick this week huh Tracy. This is starting to be a habit. Let me be the first to Thank You for your participation in the season, because it is over. I knew at the start of the season that your team sucked. It just took a while for it to show. In addition, you are now known as the Mike Tice of the Playmakers Football League for starting Chris Simms enroute to a 59 point disaster. Right now the only noise coming from your fat mouth is "SLURP SLURP" and "DONT GET IT IN MY HAIR" You chain sucking cum guzzler. Normally I would be looking forward to you coming back with an article, but I don't think that will happen. Your bleeding Camel Toe will not allow it. Make sure you wear your T-Back while you are serving drinks at next years draft. Remember: NO BALLS, NO GLORY.”

Wow, Knights said some nice stuff about the Terror Squad. This must be the first time Terror Squad did not respond, WHY? Is it true is he sucking dick, is his season over. Do we start calling you Mike Tice? Madden does not know what to think, the loud mouth of the league has not said a word, WHY?

Oh goody, the next article this week came from SUKMYDITKA, it was named, “ You Suck” Who sucks? The article read, “Fuck You!” Fuck who? Okay, we begged for your participation, but if this is the best article you can come up with then stay home because YOU SUCK. This is a league of men playing a man’s game, if you can only post two words then FUCK YOU. I believe this owner has been called out week after week, by Cutthroat Pirates, even Terror Squad and Superdestroyers called you out and you still can’t write an article. Boston Beer Works even made fun of your article. You are suppose to be a fun, joking person in this league. I am afraid you are the weakest link. Even Boston Beer Works told you to “GET THE FUCK OUT NEXT YEAR! We don't need your sorry ass.” OUCH that hurts.

Then we had another Terror Squad article written by Boston Beer Works named: “Feel the heat!” The article is posted again for you: “First things first, great article Sukmy asshole. If thats all you can say and post in this league, GET THE FUCK OUT NEXT YEAR! We don't need your sorry ass. Secondly, Terror Squeak can you feel the heat of that scope pointing at that sorry ass team every week. Well times up freak. Your first place slot is gone. Week 10 will be the week of Boston Beerworks! Ah me laddy! Back off and watch the men take care of the beer and you boys only stand by and lear!"

Great article Boston Beer Works, keep them coming, it is owners like you, the Knights, Terror Squad and Cutthroat Pirates that make this league fun. Speaking of Terror Squad, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU TRACY?

The next article was from my buddy Steve, who at least came out with an article and guaranteed himself a win, then he came out with another article backing his loss and calling out next weeks opponent. The Article was named: “Destroyers Humbled?” Here is the article: “ Yes, destroyers head coach must eat his words. A win was guaranteed but the destroyers could not deliver this week. The cutbait pirates are not a better team, they just played better this week. Well enough of the mushy stuff, I'm getting misty eyed. "Suck my dick" your next! but this week won't be so easy as it was for the cut bait pirates and the "W" will be in the destroyer's column. The destroyers should start to come into their own this week and dominate. Good luck, youll need it!!!! "

Once again SUCK MY DICK was called out and still chirp chirp. What is the matter with these owners? As Knights said it best “No Balls”

Okay, here is another article if you call it that? It was titled “DMB” (How original) It read, “The DMB is back and creeping up on You Bitches in the Titanium Div. Best thing for you to do is pray.” Okay, at least you tried to write an article. Pictures due wonders for your articles. Okay you are the bitch because if you did not know, You played everyone in you Division twice. So your record is not real good there SLAP ASS. You split with Bartow Ford and Sukmyditka, Cutthroat Pirates swept you with two wins and you swept Superdestroyers.

The next article was by DMB again? It was named, “DMB” Great title, Is this guy talking to himself? Okay listen here is what he writes are you ready? “There Ya Go SUKKAS!” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, What the hell is this. Nice picture, you deserve a cookie for finding you team name on a church board. What the fuck has this league come to.

Okay, here it is since we are all soft and can’t take cut downs anymore, lets go on a scavenger hunt. Lets see who is the first person to find their team name on Sesame Street. WHAT THE FUCK OVER. There is a new Madden Award its called Lame Ass Article:

Madden’s week 9 in review:
Boston Beer Works 133
Detroit Latin Stars 101

Two good teams going at it. They both are on a climb. I think the best team in the Crimson Division just might be Boston Beer Works. He is now 4-5 and on his way to the Top. Detroit don’t feel bad you are in a race for the 3rd playoff spot in your Division. I think Boston Beer Works, N.Y. Knights and Detroit Latin Stars just might make the playoffs this year. Sorry Terror Squad, but I think you are on a downward slide.

N.Y. Knights 101
gang green 43

The New York brothers battle it out, okay not really Knights kicked Greens ass. Knights are in the hunt for a playoff spot. Green might have to wait next year when his players will return from injury.

SUKMYDITKA 111
Terror Squad 81

SUKMYDITKA has turned it on again. SUKMYDITKA might be taking the number two spot in the Titanium Divisions playoff picture. Terror Squad may be done with the loss of Priest Holmes.

Cutthroat Pirates 90
Superdestroyers 66

Cutthroat Pirates are in the playoff and possible will take the division with a win this week and a SUKMYDITKA’s Loss. Superdestroyers I think will be the number 3 team in the playoffs. He is only one game out of second place.

Bartow Ford 69
DADDY MO BUCS 72

Bartow Ford, what happen to you my friend? Where have you been? You are still in this hunt and only one game out of 2nd place. DMB, has got a tough team and is making a climb to the top. He is currently in 2nd place but I think he might start falling soon.

Madden Week 9 Awards:
Team of the Week: Boston Beer Works with 133 points
Player of the Week: LaDainian Tomlinson with 38 points
Game of the Week: Boston Beer Works and Detroit Latin Stars
Def of the Week: Panthers Def 24 points, Killed my beloved BUCS
Most Improved Team: Boston Beer Works has turned it on.
The Shit Team: Gang Green with lowest points 43
The Lame Ass Article: SUKMYDITKA

Records to break:
Highest points in a game: Boston Beer Works with 140
Lowest points in a game: Gang Green with 43
Tie with 100 points scored N.Y. Knights and Detroit Latin Stars
Team undefeated: Bartow Ford 3-0 (Season Record for this League) (Ends at 3-0)
Biggest Rival to date: Terror Squad VS N.Y. Knights/Gang Green
Team to end the Undefeated streak: Superdestroyers over Bartow Ford
Lowest number of Articles: (tied)Gang Green, SUKMYDITKA, (1 each) Your Last article did not count SUKMYDITKA

Madden Week 8 Report 2005

Nov. 6, 2005-Madden is sad we are almost through the season.

Well hello sports fans, John Madden here. Sorry for the late post, but its been a rough week with a funeral and all. I just want to say this fantasy year is almost over, and that sucks. The 12th week is the end of add/drops and trades, so pick your players now.

The playoff picture is almost set. The way it stands right now, Cutthroat Pirates have a slot and possibly a bye in the 1st rd. The other two teams in the Titanium Division are not set yet with everyone at 4-4.

The Crimson Division is almost clear with Terror Squad possible walking away with the division and Detroit Latin Stars with the number two slot. Boston Beer Works and New York Nights are in a heated race for the 3rd slot. It looks like Gang Green might have the first Toilet Bowl slot unknown on the second. Sorry Bucky it has been a tough year on you with injuries.

The season is not over yet so don’t give up, the playoff slots are still up for grabs so lets keep playing and talking shit. It would be nice to know if Daddy Mo Bucs and SUKMYDITKA are still a part of these league so lets hear some shit talking from you two.

Also please let me know if you do not plan on returning next season, because I need to find owners now if you are backing out. I got a few friends on stand by. Good Luck to all in week 9.

Madden Week Eight Awards:
Team of the Week: Bartow Ford with 134 points
Player of the Week: Antonio Gates with 32 points
Game of the Week: Cutthroat Pirates and SUKMYDITKA
Def of the Week: Giants Def 28 points
Most Improved Team: Detroit Latin Stars has turned it on.
The Shit Team: Terror Squad with lowest points 59

Records to break:
Highest points in a game: Boston Beer Works with 140
Lowest points in a game: Terror Squad with 59
Tie with 100 points scored N.Y. Knights and Detroit Latin Stars
Team undefeated: Bartow Ford 3-0 (Season Record for this League) (Ends at 3-0)
Biggest Rival to date: Terror Squad VS N.Y. Knights/Gang Green
Team to end the Undefeated streak: Superdestroyers over Bartow Ford
Lowest number of Articles: (tied)Gang Green, SUKMYDITKA, (1 each

Madden Week 7 Report 2005

Oct. 30, 2005 -Is the Playmakers Fantasy Football League infiltrated by immigrants


Sorry this post is late, Cutthroat Pirates had a death in the family Friday night. Thanks to all for your support. We would also like to take time and give our thoughts and prayers to Bartow Ford and his family for the lost of his grandfather.

Here is this weeks Madden Report I hope you find the Humor in it after a rough week for some of us. Well after a week of silence by Madden, a lot (ok two owners have been active). First it seems that the Terror Squad attacked a lot of owners this week. First he went after Gang Green, who he conquered and defeated. Nice boxing photo!

The sad thing is Gang Green has no comments maybe he is really knocked out, because he sure is knocked out of playoffs in this league. Then Terror Squad calls Daddy Mo Bucs and SUKMYDITKA (as he puts it) two pussies for their lack of participation in this league. Do you think they would write an article and defend themselves? HELL NO.

Terror Squad keeps reeking havoc on this league. It seems that only the Knights stopped him for one week, but he is back, only fitting since it is Halloween weekend and Terror is terrorizing this league.

Okay, here is the facts. ICE from the US Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency contacted the commissioner of the Playmakers Fantasy Football League. It seems the Terror Squad identified an illegal immigrant in this league. However, Detroit Latin Stars turned around and advised, “I am an US born citizen you fuck head. If you think I came to this great country in a raft you must have me mistaken with the New York brothers who left the Panama canal for the dumps of N.Y. those two fuckers cant speak a word of Spanish.” Add the fact that we do not know if Terror Squad is really a terrorist cell operating for Osama Bin Laden. ICE is all over my ass. To fix this problem next years draft a green card is required at the draft with a SSN card. Oh yeah, I was suppose to write how Detroit Latin Stars kicked N.Y. Knights ass. Read his article about it.

Madden Week Seven Awards:

Team of the Week: Terror Squad with 122 points
Player of the Week: Lamont Jordan with 34 points
Game of the Week: Terror Squad vs. Gang Green
Def of the Week: Falcons Def all 22 points
Most Improved Team: Detroit Latin Stars has turned it on.
The Shit Team: Open due to extreme circumstance

Records to break:
Highest points in a game: Boston Beer Works with 140
Lowest points in a game: Bartow Ford with 61
Tie with 100 points scored N.Y. Knights and Detroit Latin Stars
Team undefeated: Bartow Ford 3-0 (Season Record for this League) (Ends at 3-0)
Biggest Rival to date: Terror Squad VS N.Y. Knights/Gang Green
Team to end the Undefeated streak: Superdestroyers over Bartow Ford
Lowest number of Articles: (tied)Gang Green, SUKMYDITKA, (1 each)

Madden Week 6 Report 2005

Oct. 18, 2005 -President Bush, Giuliani, and Madden celebrate New York Knights win over Terror Squad


This week the Madden Report is not being done byJohn Madden, himself. It seems that our leagues war on terrorist has caused President Bush to take a stand and write this weeks Madden Report.

On Week 2 and 3, 2005 enemies of New York Teams committed an act of war against our League. New Yorkers have known wars -- but for two Sundays in a row in 2005, the Terror Squad leaded by coach Osama Bin Laden, destroyed both New York teams. Terror Squad then showed off their devastation by posting photos of the towers/teams they destroyed. New York teams have known the casualties of war -- but not at the center of a great city on a peaceful afternoon. New Yorkers have known surprise attacks -- but never before on Sunday. All of this was brought upon us in two weeks -- and night fell on a different league, a league where this league itself is under attack.

Owners/Teams had many questions during those two weeks. Owners were asking: Who attacked our New York Teams? The evidence we have gathered all points to a collection of weak affiliated terrorist organizations known as Terror Squad. They are the same team indicted for beating Detroit Latin Stars, and Boston Beer Works. Terror Squad is to terror what the mafia is to crime. But his goal is not winning the Super Bowl and winning money; his goal is to destroy both New York Teams -- and imposing its radical beliefs on owners everywhere.

The League respects the team of Terror Squad -- after all, we are currently a ten team league- but we condemn the Owners regime. (Applause.) This past Sunday the New York Knights made a crushing blow on the Terror Squad. The Knights also issued demands to all other owners in the league:

“Beat the team known as the Terror Squad and coach Osama Bin Laden each week.
Make this team part of the Toilet Bowl (Applause.) Refrain from writing any
articles about New York. Post an article on how your team is sorry, and sucks
camel balls. (Applause.) Give the New York teams full access to your terrorists
roster, so we can set your line up each week, and make sure they are no longer
operating. These demands are not open to negotiation or discussion.” (Applause.)

Terror Squad must act, and act immediately. They will hand over the terrorists Osama Bin Laden, or they will share in their fate of a losing season. Our war on terror begins with Terror Squad, but it does not end there. It will not end until every terrorist group of our league has been played and defeated. (Applause.) We have seen the state of our League in the endurance of owners, fighting for wins. We have seen the line-ups, the trades, the add/drops, the saying of prayers -- in English, Hebrew, and Arabic. We have seen the decency of loving and giving players who have made the game their own. My fellow owners, for the last six weeks, the entire league has seen for itself the state of our teams-- and it is strong. (Applause.)

Tonight we are a league awakened to danger and called to defend this league. Our grief has turned to anger, and anger to resolution. Whether we beat our opponents at home , or beat our opponents in their house, justice will be done. (Applause.)

I thank the Owners for their leadership at such an important time. All of the teams were touched on the evening of the defeat. The Terror Squad is now in hiding, back in the caves. To see Titanium Division and Crimson Division Owners joined together on the field, singing "God Bless this League." And you did more than sing; you acted, by supporting New York Knights, who delivered the crushing blow to Osama Bin Laden and the Terror Squad. Owner of the New York Knights, I thank you for your friendship, for your leadership and for your service to our league. (Applause.) And on behalf of this league, I thank the owners, who write articles and support this league, you make it what it is.

This League will never forget the sounds of our National Anthem playing in the caves of the Terror Squad‘s field as the Knights were victorious. Now lets stand strong behind Gang Green as they head into battle one last time with the Terror. If you are all wondering why John Madden is writing on this war, ask yourself what else is there to talk about?

DMB is still listening to the hit single the Sounds of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel. Madden would also like to thank Simon & Garfunkel for rewriting their song to: “Will DMB Break the Sounds of Silence” for last weeks article. Thank you. (Applause.)

Madden Week Six Awards:

Team of the Week: Detroit Latin Stars with 120 points
Player of the Week: Shaun Alexander with 38points
Game of the Week: Terror Squad vs. New York Knights
Def of the Week: 3 way tie: Falcons, Panthers, and Chiefs Def all 20 points
Most Improved Team: New York Knights now 3-3 and has defeated Terror Squad
The Shit Team: Daddy Mo Bucs 63 (lowest points scored this week)

Records to break:
Highest points in a game: Boston Beer Works with 140
Lowest points in a game: Tied Daddy Mo Bucs and Superdestroyer with 63
Tie with 100 points scored N.Y. Knights and Detroit Latin Stars
Team undefeated: Bartow Ford 3-0 (Season Record for this League) (Ends at 3-0)
Biggest Rival to date: Terror Squad VS N.Y. Knights/Gang Green
Team to end the Undefeated streak: Superdestroyers over Bartow Ford
Lowest number of Articles: (tied)Gang Green, SUKMYDITKA, and Detroit Latin Stars (1 each)

Madden Week 5 Report 2005

Oct. 13, 2005-Madden preparing for WAR (N,Y. Knights vs Terror Squad)

Well it seems Osama Bin Laden has come out of hiding and is once again targeting the N.Y. Teams of the Playmakers fantasy football league. Well, N.Y. never fear Sgt Slaughter "the Words" Madden is here.

It seems Terror Squad keeps calling the N.Y. Brothers out and keeps attacking them where it hurts: The losers column.

Now for the same old story, we are into the six week of football and still SUKMYDITKA and Daddy No Talks are silent. I know that Daddy No Talks plays Cutthroat Pirates this week and he is just scared of getting his ass kicked again, so he won‘t talk trash.

SUKMYDITKA has no reason for not being on here and talking trash, like we all thought he would. Hell, he is tied for second place and has the win over Cutthroat Pirates and still silence.

As for the rest of the league. There are some good teams that just are not getting it done. N.Y. Knights and Boston Beer Works. Two teams that might come on as powerhouses as this season moves on. Superdestroyers and Bartow Ford are still in the race and tied for second place in their divisions. Terror Squad led by Osama is in first place in his division. N.Y. Knights and Gang Green are two games out, but if Osama has his way with New York Knights again it will be lights out for this team.

Gang Green might just be through for the season with his players dropping like Osama hit them with Anthrax. As for Detroit Latin Stars, he is another owner who is silenced by his record. I think Matt Millen is trying to take over this team as well. Get real he has already fucked up the Detroit Lions.

Madden Week 5 in review:

gang green 92
N.Y. Knights 101

Nothing like a game that puts family at odds. The stronger brother, not bigger came out on top. N.Y. Knights have a lot to fight for with Osama calling him out. Lets see if N.Y. Knights will be the superpower or the 3rd world country this week against the Terror that haunts him. Gang Green will be placing his entire team on IR this week.

Boston Beer Works 73
Terror Squad 87

Another close game which came down to Monday night football. Boston Beer Works should have won. He had the right players going into the game, but like a limp noodle, they just could not get it up for the challenge.

DADDY MO BUCS 97
Superdestroyers 88

Wow, Daddy No Talk won a game. Yes, we know it is your second win. It just might be your last win though. Superdestroyers dropped to DMB, OUCH, a division game. I think this team just might be cooling off.

Cutthroat Pirates 82
Bartow Ford 78

Well Well, it seems Fords are not so tough after all. Bartow Ford is having to pay a heavy tow fee and they are having to pull all their vehicles out of the sea. It seems Cutthroat Pirates and The Terror Squad might just be on a one way collision course known as the Super bowl.

Detroit Latin Stars 100
SUKMYDITKA 120

Ok we all know the deal…CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP. And once again silence.

Madden Week 5 Awards:

Team of the Week: SUKMYDITKA with 120 points
Player of the Week: The Colts Def. 33points
Game of the Week: Terror Squad vs. Boston Beer Works
Def of the Week: Colts Def 33 points
Most Improved Team: SUKMYDITKA (started strong, went sour for a few games, but are back.)
The Shit Team: Boston Beer Works 73 (lowest points scored this week)

Records to break:
Highest points in a game: Boston Beer Works with 140
Lowest points in a game: Superdestroyer with 63
Tie with 100 points scored N.Y. Knights and Detroit Latin Stars
Team undefeated: Bartow Ford 3-0 (Season Record for this League) (Ends at 3-0)
Biggest Rival to date: Terror Squad VS N.Y. Knights/Gang Green
Team to end the Undefeated streak: Superdestroyers over Bartow Ford
Lowest number of Articles: (tied)Gang Green, SUKMYDITKA, and Detroit Latin Stars (1 each)

Madden Week 4 Report 2005

Oct. 4, 2005 -Don't you love football, and fantasy football as much as me? DA BEARS...

Hello Sports Fans, John Madden here. Madden would like to take this time and thank this weeks sponsor “EA Sports” Madden 2006, Remember, “ If Its In The Game, Its In The Game”.

Well week four is over and I am sad to say, we are a quarter the way through the football season. However, we got to look at the new WTC, thanks to Gang Green. Madden would also like to thank Gang Green for waking up and contributing to this league, but I do not think Boston Beer Works is happy about it now.

Madden would also like to congratulate the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on a 4-0 start and beating those sorry ass Detroit Lions. I guess I won’t get to see that article from Detroit Latin Stars. How about Kevin Jones? He is about as good as Joey Harrington. Do not worry Detroit Latin Stars, just do what Charlie Rogers did, smoke it up. I got three words for you, OUT OF BOUNDS!

Well the Tampa Bay Buccaneers Cadillac got dinged up, and from the looks of things Bartow Ford is dinged up. As it stands to date, Terror Squad is the Crimson Division Leader at 3-1. The Titanium is a littler tighter, but as it stands Cutthroat Pirates rrrrrrrr the Division Leader at 3-1. Bartow Ford is 3-1, but loss to Superdestroyers. Superdestroyers are 3-1, but loss to Cutthroat Pirates.

It was nice to see more articles this week. Gang Green and Boston Beer Works heated things up this week. I must tell you all that Superdestroyers posted another article, but it was not in the league news area. It was on the message board in the lower right corner. He said once he figures his slot player out, he will figure out where the articles go. (At least he is writing articles DMB, SUKMYDITKA and Detroit Latin Stars. Lets get this week going:

Week 4 in review:

gang green 103
Boston Beer Works 97

Well this game got heated after The article “Gang Shit” came out. Madden thought that Boston Beer Works was going to take it to Gang Green. I think all the N.Y. Bashing by Terror Squad pissed this team off. Good close game, however both teams are 1-3, but in this division 1-3 is tied for 3rd place and 2 games out of first good close fight in this division. Boston Beer Works is Madden’s sleeper team in this division.

Detroit Latin Stars 74
Terror Squad 83

Not much can be said about this game. Every one knew Terror Squad would win. Terror Squad is King of his Division. Detroit Latin Stars are following their NFL counterparts Detroit Lions and are 1-3. Detroit Latin Stars there is always next year. However, you are only 2 games out of first. Wait until that Pussy of a team Terror Squad plays the real teams in Titanium Division, Bartow Ford and Cutthroat Pirates will fix that record.

Superdestroyers 97
Bartow Ford 91

Well Well the might Bartow Ford fell. It seems that the Fords got banged up this weekend and AAA was not working. The sad thing for this team is that they face Cutthroat Pirates this upcoming week. After Sunday those ford’s will be not only banged up but they will be swimming. You are not so FORD TOUGH now are you. The Superdestroyers are still a shocking team, at 3-1 they are still in the running for first place. This team is the team that everyone needs to watch out for. Slot player and all this team is Tough.

SUKMYDITKA 110
DADDY MO BUCS 95

Silence………………………………............................(just like these owners) Chirp, Chirp, Chirp (the sounds of crickets) then a long silence………………………………

N.Y. Knights 95
Cutthroat Pirates 112

The game of the week, also the team of the week is found here. Cutthroat Pirates owner had the privilege of being at Raymond James Stadium with the New York Knights owner, and SUKMYDITKA‘s owner. As the owner of the Cutthroats Pirates turned on the laptop computer, he got a headache seeing that he was getting his ass handed to him by the N.Y. Knights. Then the ever so silent SUKMYDITKA chimed in and asked a stupid question, “Why don’t you write a bad article about Cutthroat Pirates in the Madden report”? Well, as N.Y. Knights put it kindly, “There is nothing bad to write about, YET”. For those that really know me and have been playing fantasy football with me for a while, I have dogged my team, I have received the Shit Award a few times. Do not be mad SUKMYDITKA, if you want a bad article on Cutthroat Pirates then bring it. But like always I here the chirps from the crickets and nothing else from you. N.Y. Knights you have a good team and are still tied for third place. You also are only two games out of first place. Plus you got a "give me" win this week win you kick your brother GANG GREEN ass. Cutthroat Pirates are in first place and will run away with the lead after I go joy riding in a Ford and drive it into a lake.

Madden Week 4 Awards:

Team of the Week: Cutthroat Pirates with 112 points
Player of the Week: Peyton Manning with 34 points
Game of the Week: N.Y. Knights 95 VS Cutthroat Pirates 112
Def of the Week: The Falcons with 25 points
Most Improved Team: Gang Green
The Shit Team: Detroit Latin Stars 74 (lowest points scored)

Records to break:
Highest points in a game: Boston Beer Works with 140
Lowest points in a game: Superdestroyer with 63
Tie with 100 points scored N.Y. Knights and Detroit Latin Stars
Team undefeated: Bartow Ford 3-0 (Season Record for this League) (Ends at 3-0)
Biggest Rival to date: Terror Squad VS N.Y. Knights/Gang Green
Team to end the Undefeated streak: Superdestroyers over Bartow Ford

Madden Week 3 Report 2005

Sep. 29, 2005 -Bartow Ford is on Fire, even Tough Actin Tinactin can not put out their fire.

First Madden would like to thank this weeks sponsor Tinactin. Bartow Ford is so hot that Tough Actin Tinactin can not put out their fire.

Well ladies, week 3 is over and things are getting hot. First we need to take a moment of silence for New York. It seems that they were victim of another terrorist attack. Ok lets face it that was no real terrorist attack, just a poor attempt of humor by the Terror Squad.

We try to be men with dignity, we try to be men with honor, but Terror Squad’s owner, knows no couth. What if we said, it is a shame that Hurricane Rita did not hit Dallas, Texas and destroy that sorry ass team known as the Cowboys. It would have been nice to see Roy Williams stuck up Parcels fat ass due to Rita’s force.

Terror Squad you are my friend bro, but all I can say is the wrath of God, and the New York brothers just might be upon you. Be careful in your next boxing match, I think it might turn out bad. You could end up like Christopher Reeves. Nobody wants to put your wife through that hell. However, Madden will give you credit for having balls. Nobody else in this league has balls. I think everyone, but N.Y. Knights, Bartow Ford, Terror Squad, Cutthroat Pirates and Boston Beer Works are a bunch of powder puff teams, who’s owners are pussies and afraid to talk trash.

Don’t be pissed at Madden, I just call it like I see it, and I see no articles from Gang Green, DMB, SUKMYDITKA, Detroit Latin Stars, and Superdestroyers.

Now for the real story the only undefeated team in the Playmakers Fantasy Football league is Bartow Ford at 3-0. This owner is number one at selling vehicles in this county and is number one in this league. Congrats Bartow Ford. But your days just might be numbered. You have only played one real team this year and that is Boston Beer Works. The other 2 teams were sorry and at the bottom of the division. Yes, SUKMYDITKA did beat the Pirates in the first week, but that was a fluke. That team might just be the sorriest team in the league. I know one thing for sure, he is the sorriest owner in the league. He never gets on here and he is the only team to not do an add/drop. Where are you SUKMYDITKA. Wake up it is football season and fantasy football means trash talking among friends. You are becoming a very boring owner. I know you are still crying because your sorry ass Steelers could not beat the World Champs. GET OVER IT, $400 dollars is on the line. WAKE UP.

Oh yeah, Gang Green, I know your team sucks and the Jets suck also, but where are you at. I do not think that you have posted one article to date. I see you let your brother fight your battles for you.

Superdestroyers, Detroit Latin Stars, SUKMYDITKA and Daddy Mo Bucs (that name cracks me up) I know you are new to Fantasy Football, it makes it more fun when you guys talk trash, just ask Terror Squad (WOW).

Now maybe this will put a boot in some owners ass and get them fired up.
Now lets look at WEEK 3:

DADDY MO BUCS 131
Gang Green 84

Well it seems that DMB just might have found a quarterback, and his other quarterback woke up. Nice game, but any buddy can beat Gang Green.

Terror Squad 109
N.Y. Knights 97

The team with no couth took it to the N.Y. Knights. Bad luck karma and all. Terror Squad is 2-1 and in charge of his division.

Detroit Latin Stars 91
Boston Beer Works 140

WOW, Boston Beer Works woke up and took it to the Detroit Latin Stars. Be Ware Boston Beer Works may be unstoppable from here on out. This is the Team of the Week with 140 points. Great Job Boston. Now wake up and get your ass back on here and talk trash.

Superdestroyers 63
Cutthroat Pirates 100

Well Superdestroyers, your season started out nice, but it had to come to an end. The Pirates not only slit your throat, they plundered and looted your team. The Cutthroat Pirates are the number one power house team. If you do not believe just go to standings, then click power and observe the Pirates just might take all the gold this year. They are also driving a new Cadillac all over teams.

Bartow Ford 113
SUKMYDITKA 100

Game of the week, but in reality SUKMYDITKA just got lucky to even get close to the undefeated Juggernaut of this league.

Madden Week 3 Awards:

Team of the Week: Boston Beer Works 140 points
Player of the Week: LaDainian Tomlinson 45 points
Game of the Week: Bartow Ford and SUKMYDITKA
Def of the Week: The Bengals DST 13 points
Most Improved Team: Boston Beer Works
The Shit Team: Superdestroyer 63 points (lowest points scored)

Records to break:
Highest points in a game: Boston Beer Works with 140
Lowest points in a game: Superdestroyer with 63
Tie with 100 points scored N.Y. Knights and Detroit Latin Stars
Team undefeated: Bartow Ford 3-0 (Season Record for this League)
Biggest Rival to date: Terror Squad VS N.Y. Knights/Gang Green

Madden Week 2 Report 2005

Sep. 20, 2005 -Madden's Weekly Report



John Madden here, well ladies week two is finally over.

There are a lot of owners who are afraid to get on this web site and post articles about their team or how they will destroy their next opponent.

SUKMYDITKA started off strong, and even took a few shots with the articles, but now he is in hiding. Superdestroyers even called you out and no response. I guess he knew he was no match for the Destroyers. Daddy Mo Bucs started off talking trash, but at 0-2 it is hard to talk much trash. Gang Green, Terror Squad, and Detroit Latin Stars, and Bartow Ford: WHERE ARE YOU GUYS AT.

It seems only N.Y. Knights and Boston Beer Works and Cutthroat Pirates are making any noise. Oh well if you are all scared just say your scared. Now let me, John Madden, start the Playmakers Fantasy Football Madden Week 2 Report:

This week had a lot of good close games. There was also a few blow outs too, right DMB and SUKMYDITKA. There was also a tie between N.Y. Knights and Detroit Stars according to Tuesday’s score they both scored a 100 points each. But as the rules go a tie breaker goes to reserve player’s total points. Stars got 83 points on the bench (WOW) and Knights got 56, so Stars takes the win.

Bartow Ford 77
Boston Beer Works 75

A very good close game, Bartow Ford takes the win by 2 points. Both Teams are very good. Do not let Beer Works 0-2 record full you. This team is for real. Bartow Ford is 2-0 and tied for first place with the Superdestroyers in the Titanium Division.

SUKMYDITKA 65
Superdestroyers 83

Superdestroyers are for real!!!!!! Is SUKMYDITKA’s week one win a fluke????? Madden wants to know. Superdestroyers are tied for 1st place in the Titanium Division.

Terror Squad 89
Gang Green 81

What a close game. If you all were watching this game, it came down to Monday night football. Good game guys. Both teams fought hard and Terror Squad turned Gang Green, Green hahahahah. Terror Squad may be trying to pull his way out of the Toilet Bowl. Hey how do you like the scoring system now Terror Squad. You would not have won if it was the other way.

There is no clear leader in the Crimson Division. Four teams are all 1-1. Terror Squad, Gang Green, Detroit Latin Stars and N.Y. Knights. Good close fight so far.

Cutthroat Pirates 130
Daddy Mo Bucs 86

Well there is not much I can say about this blow out. I have picked on DMB enough, Daddy Mo Bucs we are still buddies, your team just sucks bro. There is always next years draft.

N.Y. Knights 100
Detroit Latin Stars 100

There are records being set in this league. Here is another first for this league: a tie. However, the game does not end in a tie. The points on each teams bench (reserve players total) is how a tie is broken, and according to Tuesday’s scores: they both scored a 100 points each. But as the rules go a tie breaker goes to reserve player’s total points. Stars got 83 points on the bench (WOW) and Knights got 56, so Stars takes the win.

Well ladies it is time to hand out the Madden Awards for Week Two:

Team of the Week: Cutthroat Pirates 130 points Player of the Week: Donovan McNabb 40 points
Game of the Week: N.Y. Knights and Detroit Latin Stars 100 points each
Def of the Week: ( Four way Tie) Colts, Steelers, Giants and Eagles all with 19 points
Most Improved Team: Terror Squad after a shitty start, he came from behind and won this week.
The Shit Team: SUKMYDITKA 65 points (lowest points scored)

Records to break:
Highest points in a game: Pirates with 130
Lowest points in a game: SUKMYDITKA with 65
Tie with 100 points scored N.Y. Knights and Detroit Latin Stars

Madden Week 1 Report 2005

Sep. 13, 2005 -John Madden here and let me tell you about your fantasy football league games.

Well ladies week one is finally over. For all the new guys in this league, I have a tradition that most of the guys that I have been playing fantasy football with for the last 4-5 years know about.

I do a weekly Madden Report. Yes, John Madden breaks down our games and even gives out awards. So do not take the criticism to hard because next week you could be awarded the Team of the Week Award.

First let me say thank God football season is here. Thank God Madden 2006 is out and is a great game. The BUCS, COWBOYS, STEELERS and PATRIOTS all looked good. The damn JETS looked like shit.

Now let me, John Madden, start the Playmakers Fantasy Footbal Maddenl Week 1 Report: Going into the draft was a lot of concern. The League was formed by Cutthroat Pirates, with experienced owners such as Terror Squad, New York Knights, Gang Green, Bartow Ford, and Boston Beer Works. The rookie owners or first time with a live draft was Detroit Latin Stars, Superdestroyers, SUKMYDITKA, and Daddy Mo Bucs. Daddy Mo Bucs started the fun with the name Daddy Mo Bucs and then picking every player twice ending up with a mouth full of dicks.

Superdestroyers had trouble early on in the draft picking Jake Plummer and trying to figure out what a slot player was, which he still has no clue. These two teams were voted by the other eight owners to play in this years Toilet Bowl.

Now with week one over lets see how each team did and how the draft picks went.
Boston Beer Works: 83
New York Knights: 86

Boston Beer Works had the first pick in the draft and he selected Ladainian Tomlinson. Sorry bro, you got your first lost, but you have a good team and will rebound. New York Knights very nice, you got your first win. A very good close game.

Gang Green: 86
Detroit Latin Stars: 68

Gang Green very nice on your first win. Both teams are good, Detroit Stars did very well in the draft and should make the playoffs this year.

SuperDestroyers: 96
Terror Squad: 89

Well, Well Superdestroyers said Fuck you all and your vote. Superdestroyers took it out on Terror Squads ass. Superdestroyers may not know what a slot player is but he knows what a win is. Terror Squad you make have taken his place in the Toilet Bowl after that game.

Daddy Mo Bucs: 66
Bartow Ford: 71

Well the sorriest team in the league with the lowest points goes to Daddy No Points. It seems that shit talking you did about Bartow Ford only proved that you will be going to the Toilet Bowl. Hey DMB, Bartow Ford called and they want their money or their car back it seems you don’t have enough points to pay it off. Way to go Bartow Ford walk into the draft unprepared and still walk out a winner.

SUKMYDITKA: 129
Cutthroat Pirates: 93

Well a first time owner, who was unsure about the draft is the team of the week. Nice going SUKMYDITKA with a 129 points. Don’t worry Cutthroat Pirates will see you again. Both of these teams are good, besides 93 points was the third best score this week. McNabb and T.O. won’t get beat to many times like they did this week. However SUKMYDITKA is the team to beat, he may have the best team out there. But Cutthroat Pirates will get their first win against Daddy Mo Bucs this week.

Well ladies it is time to hand out the Madden Awards for Week One:

Team of the Week: SUKMYDITKA 129 points
Player of the Week: (Tie) Kerry Collins and Willie Parker both with 26 points
Game of the Week: (Tie) Boston Beer Works: 83 -VS- New York Knights: 86 (-3 pts) SUKMYDITKA: 129 -VS- Cutthroat Pirates: 93 (Pirates were down 64 pts before Monday nights game)
Def of the Week: (Tie) Bills and Colts both with 21 points
Most Improved Team: Superdestroyers with 96 points and a win over Terror Squad
The Shit Team: Daddy Mo Bucs 66 points (lowest points scored)

Remember ladies, IT'S IN THE GAME