Madden Week 9 Report 2005

Nov. 12, 2005-This league is getting soft: Who will be the first to take action?

Hello sports fans, Madden has been reading all the activity on the board this week and waiting for the owners to respond to the cut downs that other owners have made. I am sad to say but I think this league has gone SOFT.

This year only a few owners have been active. They are Cutthroat Pirates, Terror Squad, N.Y. Knights, and Boston Beer Works. SUKMYDITKA started the first week out strong then he went into hiding SUKINGDICK.

We have had some participation from Detroit Latin Stars, Superdestroyers, Daddy Mo Bucs and Bartow Ford. Gang Green has even helped a little by posting an article when he was attacked by Terror Squad. Madden must recap the articles this week and make sure you know who called you out. It would seem that Terror Squad was called out by N.Y. Knights in a article named: “Cya Tracy” Here is the article again for you, “Poor Terror Squat. Suck another owners dick this week huh Tracy. This is starting to be a habit. Let me be the first to Thank You for your participation in the season, because it is over. I knew at the start of the season that your team sucked. It just took a while for it to show. In addition, you are now known as the Mike Tice of the Playmakers Football League for starting Chris Simms enroute to a 59 point disaster. Right now the only noise coming from your fat mouth is "SLURP SLURP" and "DONT GET IT IN MY HAIR" You chain sucking cum guzzler. Normally I would be looking forward to you coming back with an article, but I don't think that will happen. Your bleeding Camel Toe will not allow it. Make sure you wear your T-Back while you are serving drinks at next years draft. Remember: NO BALLS, NO GLORY.”

Wow, Knights said some nice stuff about the Terror Squad. This must be the first time Terror Squad did not respond, WHY? Is it true is he sucking dick, is his season over. Do we start calling you Mike Tice? Madden does not know what to think, the loud mouth of the league has not said a word, WHY?

Oh goody, the next article this week came from SUKMYDITKA, it was named, “ You Suck” Who sucks? The article read, “Fuck You!” Fuck who? Okay, we begged for your participation, but if this is the best article you can come up with then stay home because YOU SUCK. This is a league of men playing a man’s game, if you can only post two words then FUCK YOU. I believe this owner has been called out week after week, by Cutthroat Pirates, even Terror Squad and Superdestroyers called you out and you still can’t write an article. Boston Beer Works even made fun of your article. You are suppose to be a fun, joking person in this league. I am afraid you are the weakest link. Even Boston Beer Works told you to “GET THE FUCK OUT NEXT YEAR! We don't need your sorry ass.” OUCH that hurts.

Then we had another Terror Squad article written by Boston Beer Works named: “Feel the heat!” The article is posted again for you: “First things first, great article Sukmy asshole. If thats all you can say and post in this league, GET THE FUCK OUT NEXT YEAR! We don't need your sorry ass. Secondly, Terror Squeak can you feel the heat of that scope pointing at that sorry ass team every week. Well times up freak. Your first place slot is gone. Week 10 will be the week of Boston Beerworks! Ah me laddy! Back off and watch the men take care of the beer and you boys only stand by and lear!"

Great article Boston Beer Works, keep them coming, it is owners like you, the Knights, Terror Squad and Cutthroat Pirates that make this league fun. Speaking of Terror Squad, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU TRACY?

The next article was from my buddy Steve, who at least came out with an article and guaranteed himself a win, then he came out with another article backing his loss and calling out next weeks opponent. The Article was named: “Destroyers Humbled?” Here is the article: “ Yes, destroyers head coach must eat his words. A win was guaranteed but the destroyers could not deliver this week. The cutbait pirates are not a better team, they just played better this week. Well enough of the mushy stuff, I'm getting misty eyed. "Suck my dick" your next! but this week won't be so easy as it was for the cut bait pirates and the "W" will be in the destroyer's column. The destroyers should start to come into their own this week and dominate. Good luck, youll need it!!!! "

Once again SUCK MY DICK was called out and still chirp chirp. What is the matter with these owners? As Knights said it best “No Balls”

Okay, here is another article if you call it that? It was titled “DMB” (How original) It read, “The DMB is back and creeping up on You Bitches in the Titanium Div. Best thing for you to do is pray.” Okay, at least you tried to write an article. Pictures due wonders for your articles. Okay you are the bitch because if you did not know, You played everyone in you Division twice. So your record is not real good there SLAP ASS. You split with Bartow Ford and Sukmyditka, Cutthroat Pirates swept you with two wins and you swept Superdestroyers.

The next article was by DMB again? It was named, “DMB” Great title, Is this guy talking to himself? Okay listen here is what he writes are you ready? “There Ya Go SUKKAS!” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, What the hell is this. Nice picture, you deserve a cookie for finding you team name on a church board. What the fuck has this league come to.

Okay, here it is since we are all soft and can’t take cut downs anymore, lets go on a scavenger hunt. Lets see who is the first person to find their team name on Sesame Street. WHAT THE FUCK OVER. There is a new Madden Award its called Lame Ass Article:

Madden’s week 9 in review:
Boston Beer Works 133
Detroit Latin Stars 101

Two good teams going at it. They both are on a climb. I think the best team in the Crimson Division just might be Boston Beer Works. He is now 4-5 and on his way to the Top. Detroit don’t feel bad you are in a race for the 3rd playoff spot in your Division. I think Boston Beer Works, N.Y. Knights and Detroit Latin Stars just might make the playoffs this year. Sorry Terror Squad, but I think you are on a downward slide.

N.Y. Knights 101
gang green 43

The New York brothers battle it out, okay not really Knights kicked Greens ass. Knights are in the hunt for a playoff spot. Green might have to wait next year when his players will return from injury.

SUKMYDITKA 111
Terror Squad 81

SUKMYDITKA has turned it on again. SUKMYDITKA might be taking the number two spot in the Titanium Divisions playoff picture. Terror Squad may be done with the loss of Priest Holmes.

Cutthroat Pirates 90
Superdestroyers 66

Cutthroat Pirates are in the playoff and possible will take the division with a win this week and a SUKMYDITKA’s Loss. Superdestroyers I think will be the number 3 team in the playoffs. He is only one game out of second place.

Bartow Ford 69
DADDY MO BUCS 72

Bartow Ford, what happen to you my friend? Where have you been? You are still in this hunt and only one game out of 2nd place. DMB, has got a tough team and is making a climb to the top. He is currently in 2nd place but I think he might start falling soon.

Madden Week 9 Awards:
Team of the Week: Boston Beer Works with 133 points
Player of the Week: LaDainian Tomlinson with 38 points
Game of the Week: Boston Beer Works and Detroit Latin Stars
Def of the Week: Panthers Def 24 points, Killed my beloved BUCS
Most Improved Team: Boston Beer Works has turned it on.
The Shit Team: Gang Green with lowest points 43
The Lame Ass Article: SUKMYDITKA

Records to break:
Highest points in a game: Boston Beer Works with 140
Lowest points in a game: Gang Green with 43
Tie with 100 points scored N.Y. Knights and Detroit Latin Stars
Team undefeated: Bartow Ford 3-0 (Season Record for this League) (Ends at 3-0)
Biggest Rival to date: Terror Squad VS N.Y. Knights/Gang Green
Team to end the Undefeated streak: Superdestroyers over Bartow Ford
Lowest number of Articles: (tied)Gang Green, SUKMYDITKA, (1 each) Your Last article did not count SUKMYDITKA